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They’re willing to pay for it,” Marie explains. “They have direct access to me, and they can ask me for things that they want to see. But maybe those people just don’t know what they’re missing out on. The concept of the e-girlfriend, who offers a facsimile of love and sex to one or many of her followers, is to some a sign of a rapidly approaching dystopia. There are those who might view the increasing number of possibly lonely people paying for digital intimacy and those willing to sell it as a tragic consequence of innumerable economic and social trajectories. Thanks to a pandemic that left many people at home substituting screens for IRL intimacy and the rise of platforms that merge sex work and social media, vanilla content creators are turning to sex, in all its myriad forms, as a side hustle. What is new is how seamlessly a DM slide can become a business arrangement, how influencers of the Instagram-lifestyle variety and regular people alike have used this as a meaningful stream of revenue. It is not new that many men tend to talk to other people with a sense of entitlement or aggression. One of my coworkers and I were both approached by the same man on Twitter, on the very same day, asking us to send him photos of our feet for money. Ask any influencer - even, grossly, influencers who have yet to turn 18 - how many times they’ve been asked by strangers to start an account on OnlyFans, the platform best known for paywalled access to nude and lewd images from specific creators, and they’ll tell you it’s a lot. Marie often gets DMs from men asking her to show them her breasts (enough women on the internet have had this experience that it’s become its own meme). The money itself pretty much means the same thing: Hey, notice me.Ī lot of the time it is about sex, though. Perhaps he’s grown so accustomed to the system of casually contributing to random GoFundMes and Patreons and Substacks that sending a hot girl $50 over CashApp simply feels natural.
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Maybe the man knows you’re a struggling artist and gets a thrill out of posing as your sponsor. She is also very conventionally “hot,” which is sort of a weird thing to say about a platonic friend but is relevant here, in a story about how she became an ur-example of an increasingly omnipresent trend: women who’ve cultivated some sort of identifiable digital persona being sent money by men in exchange for videos, photos, or even just a text back. She’s a born hustler, and has been since we met in middle school - something she attributes to her mother, an immigrant who worked at grocery chains and mall stores to support their family. Marie - whose name, like that of many sources in this story, has been changed to protect her from the potentially severe consequences of being identified for performing online sex work - has more than 100,000 Instagram followers thanks to a stint on a popular reality show. “I thought this person was going to have this ridiculous conversation with me and screenshot it and put it all over the internet.
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“I thought he was fucking with me,” my friend Marie told me a few months ago, recalling her first messages from a stranger who propositioned her for paid, virtual sex work. When it happens for the first time, it can take you by surprise. Let’s call it Rule 43: If you exist visibly enough on the internet, someone will want porn of you. But there is another, less-discussed rule, one that essentially amounts to its inverse and has only become more apparent over the past decade. There’s a maxim on the internet known as Rule 34, which posits that “if it exists, there is porn of it.” Rule 34 is typically cited in cases of bizarre noncanonical cultural pairings - smutty fanfiction about, say, Hagrid the half-giant from Harry Potter falling in love with Harry’s owl Hedwig.